STEP ASIDE FROM YOURSELF, YOU'RE BLOCKING YOUR OWN LIGHT REFLECTED IN THE MIRROR!

On the day I stepped into my 32nd year, I faced something I hadn’t really noticed before: Self-sabotage.

Of course, like everyone, I have dreams, hopes, and desires. But inside me, there was always a disbelief, an obstacle I couldn’t overcome. As a result of the challenges in the last few years (perhaps they were just repeating cycles because I hadn’t learned yet), I had distanced myself from my wishes quite a bit.

Whenever something crossed my mind, I’d step forward with the defeatist thought, “Don’t get your hopes up, it won’t happen,” and I couldn’t bring myself to desire anything.

It felt like starting a match 1-0 down…

What’s more, I didn’t stop there. I hesitated to feel good and ended up carrying it further.

When I felt good, or when something in my life improved, I would attract things that would immediately turn everything upside down. And while complaining about them and victimizing myself, I would realize how safe I felt in that process.

You know how the law of attraction says to raise your frequency? It felt like I had created a glass barrier at that vibration level. Whenever I tried to rise, I’d hit that barrier and fall back down, never reaching the highest frequencies I was supposed to reach...

While being grateful, I remember my lack of things; while loving, I fear loss; and when I’m grateful, I secretly expect things to fall apart.

I have no idea why I do this.

I don’t know how to transform this yet, but as I progress, maybe it will be a place we meet in my other writings, my dear reader! For now, I can only give it a name: Self-sabotage.

I’ve decided to break the cycle easily and move forward with love in my new year. Because, my dear reader, if you ask me, all of this doesn’t suit someone who truly loves themselves. It creates a logical fallacy within the system, but for people like me, who have spent a significant part of their life doing this, it’s not something that can be broken overnight. Like everything else, this requires time, effort, and patience.

Today, I’m leaving this writing here.

I’m sending big hugs to those who resonate with me and my soul, and if there are still those who unknowingly do this, I hope this serves as a little light. Just a little light, because the rest of the light is you.

So, a small reminder:

Get out of your own way, you’re blocking the light reflected in the mirror!

With my wishes for us to break through together...

With LOVE,

Selin BİNAY

P.S: I’m so glad I was born, I’m so glad I exist! Welcome #32OnceAgain