TO HOLD SPACE

**"In this issue, I want to talk about different forms of holding space that you may have frequently heard of in spiritual and energy healing practices, their importance, and how to do it.

Holding space can be thought of as opening space or filling the space in its simplest form. It is closely connected with qualities such as allowing, expanding, centering, and being able to stay with something. In this sense, holding space is one of the most important elements of healing and recovery. Someone who does not genuinely hold space for themselves cannot trust the other person, open up, or let go; they build certain shields. However, being a good space holder can often remove the veils and blockages in a person without needing anything else. Holding space is like a library that encompasses your mental, emotional, spiritual intelligence, communication skills, and personal and spiritual development areas. While the basic axis remains the same, there are many different types of holding space.

The first one is; being able to observe someone in need without judgment, free from dualities, our own molds, templates, and labels. This is important for all of us, but especially for anyone working in the healing field. We might not always be able to do this, nor may it always be necessary, but in healing practices, it is valuable to regain alignment when we lose this axis because the aura of the person in front of us is influenced by us. Fundamentally, what is desired is not always a solution or a search, but sometimes simply being seen, heard, and expressed. Do you need to be alone, to sit quietly together, or to do something together? What do you feel, what do you want? Saying "I am here" is holding space well. Holding space means looking to understand not the surface, but the depth, being receptive, and pulling yourself back. This act of giving is, by nature, the best healer. We can do this most difficultly for our closest ones because there, sympathy, identification, and our templates are strong, deep, and intense. This is why holding space becomes more challenging as distance decreases. Perhaps this is why the less we know and the more distant we are, the better we can hold space. In daily life, the better we hold space, the healthier our communications can be. It is quite important to evaluate our relationships with parents, partners, friends, work, and ourselves from the perspective of holding space.

Another form of holding space can be seen as the preparations we make for ourselves and the space before and after healing. Preparing, opening, cleaning, balancing, doing certain rituals and ceremonies, protection, setting intentions, cutting ties, etc., all fall under this category. This form of holding space is important for healing, the person in front of you, and your well-being. Beyond being a sign of respect, love, and importance, it also affects the frequency, quality, and nature of healing.

The last and perhaps most valuable form of holding space is being able to hold space for others or for ourselves in challenging situations. Turning to somatics in heavy thoughts, emotions, and experiences or during intense work is one of the most important forms.

We all hold space consciously or unconsciously in life, and life holds space for us. The best way to do this is by holding space with the gift you can give to this world and nourishing it. Holding space is a quality that can be learned and developed. Many of us have wounds related to holding space from our childhood, but I hope that this will not stop you from holding space for your inner child and others. As you learn to hold space for yourself, you will be able to hold space for others more easily. And as your experience of holding space for others increases, you will find it easier to hold space for yourself—the flow is bidirectional.

I would like to mention some practices to develop holding space. The more you experience these in your daily life and practices, the better a space holder you will become over time.

Regular Meditation: This is one of the most wonderful practices that increases your ability to hold space because you learn to allow and observe without identifying with the body, mind, emotions, and astral.
Heart Opening Practice: It involves telling the other person something you haven’t expressed to anyone, not even yourself, and having them listen to you without any positive or negative judgment, then doing the same for them. It is recommended to practice this with people you are relatively unfamiliar with at first.
Compassion Practice: This involves sending good intentions to all beings, including those you have negative judgments about, offering your working frequency to those in need, and expanding the high frequency (which could be a high-frequency emotion, image, or color) you are absorbing to reach even the most resistant ones.
What Are My Holding Space Patterns? If you can make this a continuous active meditation throughout the day, it will be very beneficial. Recognizing how and to what extent you hold space for yourself, or how, where, and why you can’t, is crucial. For example, remembering to slow down when you don’t care for your needs, stopping when you judge your identities, or hugging yourself when you criticize yourself, etc. You may want to review these and start a practice by writing them down for this section.
Somatic Exercises: In difficult, heavy, triggering experiences, environments, or when you are working with negative thoughts, emotions, trauma, or subconscious issues, the load is first felt in the body. When this happens, the body tightens. Opening space for holding space here allows you to stay more comfortably and facilitates the release of the stored energy in the body.

The easiest way is not to block bodily movement (like crying, trembling, etc.) and to channel energy into tight spots or expand them with body awareness. Returning to proper breathing, practices that activate the vagus nerve, energy medicine practices, grounding by using one of the five senses, looking at something calming, or scanning and relaxing tense areas (chin, lower back, abdomen, eyes, hands, neck, legs, hips, shoulders), and touching yourself can be helpful.

I wish for all of us a healing winter, full of soft, cotton-like space-holding opportunities."