SELF LOVE

Where the windows of the mind open, the view encountered becomes the moment one lives in.Everyone’s window is different; even if they are seemingly identical, the thoughts developed in response to the view seen through them are entirely unique. After all, we are multidimensional beings who were not created to be uniform. In the midst of this complexity, finding inner peace is a matter that requires great effort. However, I would like to turn your attention to a topic that can help you regain balance more swiftly.

First, let’s take a look at the emotions that pull us away from inner peace so we can understand together why we lose balance. We are not only beings of thought; we also develop emotions toward the thoughts we have. When our cognition becomes distorted—meaning we label situations or people negatively based on our subconscious filters and then develop emotions accordingly—we unfortunately step out of a state of balance. What are these labels? Feelings of being excluded, rejected, abandoned, othered, blamed, targeted, unloved, belittled, or humiliated.If the view you see through your window makes you feel these emotions, then it means the bells are ringing, calling you back to balance.

The moments we fall out of balance usually connect to the issue of self-worth. I say "usually" because it can also relate to matters like self-confidence, self-respect, self-compassion, and a sense of adequacy. However, my focus here is loving oneself.Can a person truly love themselves?If, in every moment when one realizes they do not love themselves, they return to their essence and observe themselves in silence—if in that moment they accept and love themselves as they are, forgive themselves, forgive the person they allowed to make them feel rejected, and unite with the part of themselves that feels disconnected—then yes, it is possible.

I offer you the tools necessary to do this:the conscious mind, the essence, silence, and observation.With these four tools, when you revisit the moment you were five years old and got caught stealing an apple from a grocery store, you may see that you felt deeply ashamed, humiliated, scolded, that you did something wrong, and coded the belief that you were unworthy of love. Yet, at the same time, you may also realize that this incident motivated you to become a respectful, honest, fair, and good person.

Looking through this example, one may stop loving themselves because of a mistake. Yet, they were just a small child. Still, even at the age of forty, they might not love themselves. That’s why it is necessary to take the conscious mind into the unconscious—to liberate oneself from the illusion that they must be unlovable in order to be honest and good. One must release the shame and humiliation and love themselves just as they are.And there doesn’t even need to be a dramatic example like the one I gave. Perhaps you were seven years old, your mother was busy and couldn’t help you when you needed it, and you felt unloved or worthless because of it. Some people have many such examples; others have fewer. But every person has things they must turn and face. And when they do, they become free. As they free themselves, the view from their window becomes more beautiful.

There are countless buried experiences that unconsciously shape one’s life—so many that one might not even remember them. But once the focus is there, healing can come easily.

Have you ever wondered why the things people obsess over or suffer from are so different? When different people go through the same situations, the emotions and reactions they develop are also different. This means that when you change, your reaction and your feelings change as well.

So, are you ready—with these four tools you possess—to love yourself, to change, and to transform?

With love,

Sultan MERVE GÜZEL