PERSONAL & SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT AND OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GUIDES

Personal and Spiritual Development and Our Relationship with Guides

Personal and spiritual development are often used interchangeably and confused with one another. Consequently, we are uncertain about what to expect and not expect from personal and spiritual development guides, which can create a lot of confusion on our journey. First and foremost, I want to clarify that not every teacher or trainer of a technique is necessarily a guide. A guide is more like an illuminator or companion who has walked the path ahead, assisting us after a technique has opened a door before us.

Personal development is the initial and foundational stage where personality, character, and ego take shape while the essence remains more dormant. Spiritual development, on the other hand, is a phase that can only be reached after a person has established their personal development in a healthy manner. This is because, at this stage, the dominant elements, qualities, and steps of personal development must lose their rigidity, become more flexible, undergo transformation, and allow the essence to emerge—an inherently challenging process that requires a solid ego. That is why spiritual development cannot occur without personal development; otherwise, it leads to unhealthy and unbalanced states.

These stages last a lifetime and are not linear; sometimes, they intertwine. However, their demands, needs, styles, methods, and qualities are quite different, often appearing to be in opposition. You can think of them as an outer and inner shell. We move from the outside in, and this process is a spiral—where you complete the circle may look like where you started, but it is an entirely different place. This is precisely what is meant by the saying, "The circle is not round." It creates a state of contradiction, confusion, disorientation, doubt, and an overwhelming sense of everything being intertwined. Understandably, in the beginning, this can feel quite terrifying and leave one vulnerable to various pitfalls. However, if we have not yet reached maturity in terms of personal development, we are more likely to experience panic, fluctuations, and paradoxes. A healthy spiritual development and maturity do not sabotage personal development, whereas an unhealthy personal development always hinders spiritual growth. Just as in the hierarchy of needs and functions, what is necessary at one stage may become unnecessary, invalid, or even harmful at another. At this point, it is crucial for a person to be aware of which perspective they are operating from in any given situation. A question like "How can I be successful?" or its popular version, "10 ways to achieve success," belongs to personal development. In contrast, "What do I understand by success?" is a question of spiritual development. Understanding where we stand, even to a small extent, is also essential when choosing the right guidance. However, no matter where we are, we are naturally drawn to and meet guides that align with our stage.

Although we often confuse the two, when guidance is provided by a human, we tend to project our positive or negative emotions onto them, especially in the early stages. In other words, we project our shadows onto our guides. Most of the time, we see them as parental figures, partners, or authority figures, sometimes idealizing and attributing divine values to them, sometimes devaluing them entirely, and at times having a fluctuating relationship. This is both a natural and therapeutic process. However, for it to reach its intended potential, both the guide and the seeker must possess a healthy level of awareness and effort. Furthermore, this process may require both you and your guide to work through your own conditioning separately and, at times, together. In personal development, these processes tend to unfold more consciously and gently, whereas relationships with spiritual guides are often more subconscious, fluctuating, deep, and intense. This is because spiritual guides, in their own way and according to your level, are there to help refine your patterns, hold up a mirror, and bring out your essence. This is not always a pleasant or idyllic experience; something about your guide may trigger you deeply, leading to challenging thoughts, emotions, and spiritual states. In such situations, we often either retreat into the safety of familiar territory until the next opportunity for growth arises or expand, transform, and integrate the experience.

In this regard, personal development is more supportive and empowering within the comfort zone, preparing a person for the disruptive effects of spiritual growth. For balance and wholeness, both are necessary.

If we want to progress in spiritual development, it would be beneficial to challenge what we think we know, reassess our perspectives, ensure we have thoroughly settled into the stages of personal development, begin working on our trigger points through the help of guides, and start embracing the principles and ethics of spiritual and mystical paths. Another important point to remember is that our guide is also human. Guides have their own personal and collective journey of evolution, along with their own needs, desires, and agendas. Acknowledging this allows us to progress in a healthier, more humane, holistic, realistic, and balanced manner.

Ahu BİRLİK