MY HOME IS MY HEART

MY HOME IS MY HEART by Şebnem HOŞER

From birth to death, the place where a person feels most at peace is the mother’s womb. Throughout life, often without even realizing it, one searches for that same peace. In other words, for their first home, their true home. That’s why they say home is not a place, but a feeling. To feel at home, to feel safe, one must build a healthy bond—both in social and romantic relationships. Just like that first bond with your mother: secure, strong, and unconditional. There must be a connection between building healthy relationships and the bond with one’s mother. Take, for instance, choosing a partner. Choosing a partner is the most important decision one can make in life. Because beneath that choice lies desire, passion, fear, and a whole sea of complex emotions. Without even realizing it, as we seek the peace of the womb, the moment we sense the closest thing to it, we tie our horses down and set up camp. Sometimes there are violent storms, sometimes wars that tear everything down to rubble.

But do you give up on rebuilding your camp? Never. You search for peace on other plains, by other rivers. That’s human nature. When searching for peace, people don’t dwell on the wounds they’ve taken. They don’t give up. Because life surely has something to do with finding your companion, your fellow traveler—the one who makes you feel at home.

Someone I love dearly once said, “Choosing the right partner is like hitting the jackpot.” And how right they were. It’s like trying to find the perfect combination of many fruits all in one place… Is it possible? I could swear it is—but I couldn’t prove it.

What do we want from our partners? What do we all need? Love, selflessness, loyalty, peace—and yes, a bit of outer beauty too.

Beauty matters, sure, but have you ever seen a face that seemed ordinary at first become beautiful over time? I have A face those lights up when it smiles, one that holds no evil in heart or mind, that speaks kind words, does good deeds without expecting anything in return…Not a saint, of course—someone who gets angry now and then—but even then, remains calm, respectful. Someone who helps with all their might, quietly, where no one can see.

I’ve watched such a face become more and more beautiful, so much so it became something to admire. As Neşet Ertaş once saw too: “Even if your hair turns grey, your back bends, your teeth fall one by one, your body weakens, your blood dries… you are still the beloved of my heart.”

In a video, amid a pile of rubble, in the heart of a warzone, sits a piano. At the piano is a young man, covered in dust and dirt. His body bruised and battered. He plays an Arabic rhythm. On his face, a smile that makes you ashamed of your own little troubles. One of the most beautiful faces, one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve seen lately.

To those who beautify the world wherever they go, in whatever state they may be in, who radiate beauty through the beauty of their hearts…May you always exist.

Şebnem HOŞER