DON'T KILL ME WHILE KEEPING ME ALIVE

The moment we are born, our name is whispered into our ear—just like the soul that is breathed into our body. As we leave the dark yet warm and safe womb of our mother, breath enters our body for the first time.

The mind is bewildered, turning back on itself in confusion. The body, shocked by both the transition from inside to outside and the slap on its bottom, begins to cry. Those around rejoice, saying, “Welcome to the world.” But did the baby arrive happily, or did it see happiness? No one truly knows. Surely, there is one who does, but what He knows, no one else does—or if they do, they refuse to believe it. Just as they do not believe in themselves. If only they believed—both in Him and in themselves—perhaps the world would change, and everyone would finally return to themselves.

Our people turn name into form, shaping each newborn in their own image. They create an "I," thinking they know something, yet in doing so, they unknowingly lose their essence. They dictate what the child will say, think, and believe—shaping their gaze, their vision, their words. But if they left them free, they would remember themselves, their purpose in this world, their true identity.

Because they do not know—because they are not given the chance to know—they transform into a false self. A multitude of masks covers their face, their eyes, their words. In time, these masks suffocate the person, for the true self within longs to break free from the false selves. Like a fish afraid to leap from its glass bowl into the vast ocean, this return home requires courage from the Creator.

Yet home is already there—no courage, strength, or effort is truly needed. But the self does not know this, for it has been deceived by the body and the illusion of selfhood. So, it either circles endlessly in its little bowl, longing to break free, or it takes the leap from self to Self, into freedom, into infinity.

In truth, it neither leaves nor stays. So, where is this self going? If these two selves and the body are truly one, is courage or knowledge still necessary? And where does this illusion of separation come from? I ask the question—let’s see to whom the answer is destined.

Emine Nalçacı Maviş